Tuesday, June 29, 2010

8:38 A.M. Tuesday June 29, 2010 Obama – Bring Me The Head of Rick Santelli

The President was watching one of his state-owned channels CNBC, on the replaced Oval Offices TV when Rick Santelli from the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange started ranting “STOP SPENDING, STOP SPENDING, STOP SPENDING.“ It was as though Rick was yelling through the TV at him. After this weekend’s humiliating putdown by seven of the eight G-8, the President blew like an ancient volcano, spewing curses never heard in this sacred office. As he proceeded to scream at the screen he started his infamous windup with the new remote control. He followed through in his completely unorthodox throw with a premature release that landed his remote smack-dab in a group of 300 year old Imari porcelain ginger jars. At that, everyone rushed into the Oval Office including members of the daily briefing team which he was to meet at 9:00. He then raged internally as the group of 10 in the office observed a very pissed off President. “Get me Immelt in New York,” he barked. Luckily Jeff Immelt, CEO of General Electric, soon to be ex-owner of NBC, was on vacation in Europe and missed the Presidential tirade. “I thought he was going to fire that guy last year. Now he’s really getting under my skin. I don’t know who I hate more Santelli or Limbaugh,” the President went on.
The President finished up his Daily Briefing and moved on to his meeting on the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill while still staying in the Oval Office. That meeting went down horribly as they reported no change and more oil hitting the beaches. This spill is like a toothache, he thought, that won’t go away.
He then spent the next two hours in a very private lunch and deep conversation in Arabic with Abdullah of Saudi Arabia in the Cabinet Room. While the President discussed the new Israeli airbase on Saudi soil and the imminent attack on Iran, FBI counterintelligence agents were interrogating the 11 Russian spies caught red-handed yesterday. This was embarrassing for the President because he wasn’t told about the investigation. As a matter of fact this operation was conducted at such a high level that only the FBI and CIA directors along with the Secretary of Defense knew of it.
The investigation came up with conversations and arrangements with fundraisers for members of congress, thus the high priority. At this point there were 7 members from the House and 5 from the Senate, all Democrats. The investigation was started 3 years ago and was found through tools provided by the Patriot Act. Unfortunately, for us, they had been operating for almost 20 years. That left 17 years of unbridled manipulation of our political system, something that many on the right had suspected but couldn’t quite put their fingers on. They could feel and see its effects but couldn’t touch it. With the 11 spies now under roof they were coming up with good leads connecting not only Russia but the Middle East. The team was coming close to someone big in Saudi Arabia, but it would take more time chatting with these saboteurs.
The President got an uneasy feeling about this bust and ordered daily updates. So far the President was told that these operatives worked for dual bosses that connect Middle Eastern and Russian interests. The FBI suspected that the interest was oil as the 515TH day of the Obama Presidency flowed on.

Special Note:

This is a fictitious story based on factual and fictitious events and individuals. It should not be considered factual in any way. We hope you enjoy this daily fictitious tongue-in-cheek story of the Obama Presidency.

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