Sunday, June 13, 2010

8:06 AM. Sunday June 13th 2010 Oval Office

“Mr. President, Ambassador Rice on secured line 5.” Damn, another hand holding session, “Yes, Susan what can I do for you this beautiful Sunday morning?” “Mr. President I’ve got this Wallace interview on Fox in an hour and I need some instructions, sir.” “I imagine he’ll want to talk about Afghanistan and Karzai’s latest press releases about us cutting and running and with him joining up with the Taliban. I’d give him the same old line, just tap dance around his questions, we've got big things cooking over here and we don’t want anyone knowing about it.” “What’s that Mr. President?” “Sorry, Susan this is on a need to know basis, your time to know will come soon enough.” “Is this about the thing we talked about last week at the security meeting?” “Yep.” OK, thank you sir, I’ll see you on Thursday at our normal cabinet meeting.” “Have a great day.” That babe’s got to be more secure about her job, she’s way too insecure.
I really hate those English. Yesterday’s meeting was a big waste of time. OK we’re setting up an escrow account, big fuck’n deal the god damn oil is still leaking and my ratings are sinking like the wildlife caught up in that shit.
No contact yet, god damn it, I’m dangling out here like a piñata on Cinco de Mayo. That fuck’n McChrystal has got the generals hopping mad at me over this troop thing. I cut his troop request by 50% and everybody is bitching, hey we’ve got a recession going on, who the hell’s gonna pay for this religious war anyway, me, yeah right!
“Mr. President, President Karzai on secured video conference line 1, did you want to take that? Listen Karen tell him to wait and get me Rahm and Robert for a 4 way, I’ll wait and let me know when we’re ready.” I swear that drug dealing rug weaver is gay. “Karen, I want to talk to Rahm first, before anybody else and I don’t want anyone listening. “ Yes, Mr. President.”
As the President twisted his chair towards the windows, he gazed out at the green gardens thinking about how unloved he’s become by most in the country. He quickly dismissed that negative thought and moved on to the master plan, knowing that everything is on track. When will the next directive come, he thought, when?
The President quickly picked up the phone “Hey Karen, on second thought tell Karzai I’ll call him tomorrow and set up an agreeable time according to my schedule and call Duncan and tell him to meet me down at the court to shoot some hoops at 9.” “Yes Mr. President.”
End of the very long day 499 of the Obama presidency .

Special Note:
This is a fictitious story based on factual and fictitious events and individuals. It should not be considered factual in any way. We hope you enjoy this daily fictitious tongue-in-cheek story of the Obama Presidency.