Schwarzenegger Announces Run for President 2012

By Nicholas Contompasis

The popular Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, today has thrown his hat or should I say barbell into the ring for President of United States. The action hero of countless movies, Governor Schwarzenegger feels it’s time for another movie star to take the helm of the Federal Government. For decades the action hero has saved America, the world and the girl on the silver screen with his strong approach by kicking butt and saving the day.
Many critics from the left are now screaming foul, listing a host of possible legal problems facing the Governor. They contend that his last name is racist and harkens back to the post “politically correct” era. In response to these scathing attacks, the Governor has decided to change his last name to Schwartz, which has now infuriated liberal Jews in the country. They claim he’s never seen the inside of a Temple and would never fit into a yamika. Added attacks claim that his Germanic accent reminds them of SS Officers of the Nazi regime in Germany during the 1940’s. In response to this attack the Governor’s office has just issued a medical report claiming this alleged accent is merely a speech impediment for which he's taking medication for and may enter rehab to correct.
Finally, and the biggest problem the Governor has is his alleged birth place. Most know you must be born in America to take the high office. Many on the left have been posting on the Internet copies of false birth certificates showing Arnold being born in Austria of all places. Can you believe it?
Today, the Schwartz for President web site posted the official birth certificate of the Governor and listed the place of birth as Kapi’olani Medical Center for Women & Children in Honolulu, Hawaii. Although there are many smudges and whiteout marks it looks pretty damn good to me.
We wish the Governor and his wife the best in his legitimate run for the White House.