This was taken from the New York Times yesterday November 9, 2021.
The President Pardons Jerry Sandusky Penn State Coach
by Nathan Semoresmutt
The President of the United States today announced that he has pardoned Jerry Sandusky, coach for Penn State, who was charged and convicted of sexual abuse to children while being on staff with Penn State's football team.
The President made his announcement in coordination with the signing of House Bill 111169 that establishes a don't ask don't tell national law for pedophiles and individuals that follow the practice of bestiality. He went on to announce the release of all convicted pedophiles and abusers of animals in the country's 2,133 jails and that the database that has been tracking them for decades be destroyed.
The President also stated that he was happy that a new day was dawning for these oppressed members of society and that a statue of Sandusky would be placed somewhere in the D.C. area to honor his fight for justice, even though he passed away five years ago in a state prison of pedophilia-loneliness, a common disease of these individuals.
The United Christian Union that now represents all Christians in America, now a minority religion, has objected to the signing of this bill and the President's blatant ignorance to the violence that it will bring to young children and animals. They also went on to say that it all started back in 2008 when the country turned hard Left with the election of President Obama who opened the door by canceling the military don't ask don't tell policy for gays and allowing gays to marry. They went on to say that the moral deterioration of the country has gradually degraded since that time.
It was also mentioned that the President was happy that his followers in the Democrat party have opened their arms to the members of the American Man Boy Love Association as new votes for the President.
Disclaimer: This is a satire and is not factual. It is not meant to promote pedophilia or bestiality. To the contrary it is meant to illustrate the continual moral decay in America.
Written by Nicholas Contompasis