“I don’t care what it takes, get those people out of here as soon as possible,” the President barked over his secured phone line 4. As John Beyrle the American Ambassador to Russia continued his round the clock marathon efforts to do the Presidents rush job of a spy swap, he wondered why so fast?
The weather was grand for Moscow these days, but Ambassador Beyrle could only enjoy it by looking out his bunker-like compound’s quadruple glass windows securing his office in the U.S. Embassy. He had Steven Ward across from him. Steven ran liaison with the CIA and at any given moment knew more about what was going on in Russia than Putin. He knew the old Soviets would have never let that happen, but Steven was good and so were his field agents. “You heard that right?” “Yes John.” “OK, I’ve got the President pissing his pants over this bust in the U.S., now why does he want a swap so fast? I figured if anyone knew, it be you. OK, now give.”
Steven proceeded to unravel a Putin scheme going back to the Soviet days of influencing American Politicians. It wasn’t very successful in the early '90s but took root around the mid to late ‘90s and really took off in the ‘00s The money was flying as this unit of Russian spies influenced many Democrat congressmen. Many inner city members of the House of Representatives were easy pickings. Only two Senators fell for this that we know of and their names have been kept secret. The Senate was a hard branch to crack but other Senators were successfully influenced indirectly. Even security advisers to President Clinton were paid off. As Steven laid it all out for John it became obvious that the President’s Democrat Party was about to be exposed as the party of saboteurs and spies, something most conservatives going back to Reagan felt but couldn’t prove. Bad memories of the McCarthy era always stopped them short of opening up another House Un-American Activities Committee.
“Steven,” as the two huddled close to each other “do you think this President was influenced by these agents?” Steven sat back in his chair signaling that the conversation could be over. The mere fact that one would even think that a sitting President was involved with Russian spies showed how times had changed and indicated the danger the country was in.
The Ambassador now knew why his President was so anxious to get rid of the evidence and it wouldn’t surprise him that these ten 21st century spies would find themselves in an early grave when returned to Mother Russia.
Meanwhile back in Washington the President was getting inundated with phone calls from his leftist congressmen concerned over their possible exposure. He assured them he was doing everything possible to get the ten spies out of the country as soon as possible. The President was now close to losing his cool as he realized he had to be in Michigan to make his education speech to a local high school in two hours.
Back at Dead Fish’s house, Rahm Emanuel’s nickname, he finally decided to exit his home with a train of Secret Service SUV’s following him to McDonald’s for a Big Mac. He knew he was behind in all of his work but felt since he was now risking his life for his country he deserved some R & R. Since Congress was now on its 4th of July break, his ability to get things done was hampered. He needed to contact Nancy Pelosi at her Napa Valley Vineyard but didn’t have the number in his cell phone. He thought, what the fuck, she’s usually in some beauty treatment trying to keep her facial skin off the floor while I’m doing all of her work. I hope she’s enjoying her naked hot tubbing under the star-studded Napa skies, he thought as his Big Mac started coming back up on him.
The President got back from Michigan about 8:35 P.M. and listened to his voice mail from John in Moscow. The news was not good and there would be delays in any spy-swap as the 523rd day of the Obama Presidency unsuccessfully swapped on.
This is a fictitious story based on factual and fictitious events and individuals. It should not be considered factual in any way. We hope you enjoy this daily fictitious tongue-in-cheek story of the Obama Presidency.