Monday, July 5, 2010

10:10 A.M. Monday July 5th 2010 – Obama – "We're All In Danger"

The President gazed out at the lush grounds of the White House from the Oval Office. What happened to Rahm yesterday was so disturbing to this young and inexperienced President, he almost called for instructions. Afterward Rahm informed the President he had taken the necessary steps to keep the incident out of the news, but was surprised to find that the CIA had never heard of Stripper.
The President and Rahm now wondered who Stripper was and who assassinated him. Rahm cancelled his trip to Chicago and started working on the biggest problem of his political career. What kept going through Rahm’s mind were Strippers last words, “we’re all in danger.” What did he mean? All of us are in danger, like the country, the President, the government? He followed his gut feeling and went on the basis that he meant everyone. The next logical question was what would be a threat to all of America? Weapons of mass destruction were the only things he could come up with. Now, that left the last and most important question, who, Russia, China, radical Islam?
The Presidential schedule had him so tied up he hardly had time to breathe. He delegated this whole Stripper thing to Rahm, while he proceeded with his agenda of tying up every federal department with his operatives. By inserting his people into key positions throughout the government, he knew at any moment he could shut a department down with bureaucratic indecision. He knew it would be important even after he was gone, but he had no plans of that happening. The handling of the Deepwater Horizon oil leak was his first try at this tactic and it worked flawlessly.
The Attorney General briefed the President on his Afghan trip and the New Black Panther Party issue. Both issues were only the beginning of some big Obama-made crises. The President’s plan for the November elections was to inundate voting sites with intimidating characters. He knew this would lead to recounts and even re-voting where necessary. By delaying the electoral process as long as possible and coupled with AG lawsuits this would keep his people in congress longer.
He also planned his executive order, sometime around October, deeming amnesty to 13 million illegal aliens. He and his handlers knew that the backlash from such an action would rile the right so much there could be blood in the street, thus possibly cancelling the November midterm elections. The President knew timing was everything and it would be dangerous politically and personally if he messed this up.
Meanwhile Vice President BiteMe was dodging mortar fire in the green zone in the heart of Bagdad. He couldn’t wait to get out and his wife was driving him nuts with her constant nagging about not being able to get out in the streets to do some shopping. Little did she realize her life expectancy would only be about 10 minutes if she did venture out.
The hot D.C. night kept the President up late as he strolled the JK Garden smoking another one of his cherished cigarettes. He’s been trying the gum but his press secretary has been all over him for the unflattering bovine shots being spread around the world. Apparently it’s not Presidential to chew gum. Now what the fuck am I going to do, he thought, as the 521st day of the Obama Presidency puffed on?
Special Note:
This is a fictitious story based on factual and fictitious events and individuals. It should not be considered factual in any way. We hope you enjoy this daily fictitious tongue-in-cheek story of the Obama Presidency.

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