A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA
To My Fellow Americans,
After serving the American people now for over five years I have decided to speak frankly about my past, present and future as your President.
I have come to realize that my constant misrepresentation of myself is becoming obvious to the American people. So, after thorough consultation with my advisers and family I have decided to come clean, so to speak.
So, to start with, yes, I was born in Kenya. Yes, we forged my birth certificate. Yes, I’m a Muslim. Yes, I hate all of you fat soft spoiled Americans.
I’m not a Christian. As a matter of fact I hate em, all of em!!! We had an old saying back in Indonesia; the only good Christian is a dead one.
Yes, Eric and I send thousands of guns, explosives and ammunition to the Mexican drug cartels, Hugo Chavez and the Iranian Revolutionary Guard to soften up the Mexican-American border. Caught us on that one, didn't you???
Yes, I won the very rigged Presidential election in November of 2012. I will single-handedly sell out the United States of America and Israel to Russia, China and Iran.
I also covered up that major screw up in Benghazi. Sure Hillary and I caused it, we have no idea what we're doing.
I directed the IRS to target Christian and Tea Party non-profit groups and was effective in demonizing all of them. And as for your health insurance lies, man was I good. You guys are so dumb, really.
You know, this is really cleansing, getting all of this baggage off my back, feels good!!!
Moving right along…., yes, we really shoved it up Hillary’s ass in the primary back in 08. Dean was brilliant, she never saw it coming.
Yes, I have 47 aliases and 322 social security numbers. I collected hundreds of thousands of dollars off this dumb ass government. That’s when I knew I could lie to America about everything and anything and become President of the United States. What a bunch of suckers you guys are!!!
Well, thanks America for helping me get this off my chest. Let’s move together into the future with hope and change as our motto and you keep smiling America.
Very Truthfully Yours,
Barack H. Obama
President of the United States