Sunday, June 27, 2010
6:16 P.M. Sunday June 27th 2010 Obama Needs Prozac
The President finished his 30 minute press conference at the close of the G-20 meetings in Canada. He thought how horrible it went. He wanted to discuss it with someone but everyone close to him had already moved on to D.C. Then his phone rang, it was Rahm at the White House. “Yeah Rahm, what now?” “What the fuck was that Barry?” Rahm called him that when he wanted to get under his skin. Rahm had watched the President's horrible press conference on his now replaced Oval Office TV. “OK, you know I can’t talk, otherwise I’d rip you a new one.” “Listen, Mr. President” he went on more respectfully “guess who’s running for President.” “Don’t fool around, I’m in no mood for this.” “Fox is running a two hour biographical puff piece on General you know who.” “No” he said “that son of bitch” as two female assistants looked awkwardly at him. “I have further information that most radio talk shows have been told to push the General as lead topics on national networks this week. Damn, he thought to himself, we control the major networks and this alternative news crap is bypassing us and doing a better job in getting the other side’s information out. So, Petraeus forces me to lengthen our stay in Afghanistan, relax the rules of engagement, increase our troop numbers and then shoves this unofficial run for the White House straight up my ass. The President knew that when Petraeus won in Afghanistan it would be the General who would get the credit, not him. Even the likes of Senator Diane Feinstein, a Democrat from liberal northern California, was spouting his praises. Jesus Christ, he thought, why don’t you just vote the guy in now Diane, what about me, he thought? The President's narcissistic character flaw was starting to kick in as he got hotter under the collar over this thing. “Son of a bitch”, he repeated two more times. The limo pulled up to AF-1. Everyone boarded and with a one last goodbye wave by the President at the top of the steps they were on their way back home. If the President knew what was waiting for him this coming week he would have told the pilot to head for Hawaii and a quiet beach full of ganja and dancing girls.
Admiral Mullen, Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the United States Military, met with most of Israel’s top brass this early Monday morning in Tel Aviv. The surprise visit threw even the Iranians for a loop, as this unusual high level meeting went on inside secured facilities. Iran was getting nervous as the top brass from both countries discussed its fate. News had starting to leak out of an Israeli plot to silence Iran’s nuclear program by using the countries of Georgia and Azerbaijan as a base of operations. This information got to Mullen who was never told of this apparent plan B. He was quite perturbed over the new information and altered his trip to Afghanistan to discuss this new wrinkle affecting the Middle East.
Back in Washington the President met with Rahm. It was now nearly 10:00 P.M. and he was bushed. They discussed the Stripper meeting which ticked off the President even more. “My own CIA chief can’t even talk to me” he hissed in a low whisper. “Panetta knows, doesn’t he? That’s why he won’t tell me. They’re investigating my connections to Soros aren’t they?” “I wouldn’t rule anything out sir,” Rahm murmured. The President then left the room and headed for bed.
The President was riding high going into the G-8 meetings and after the first 4 hours it was pretty obvious his economic agenda was not going to fly with the Europeans. After two days of getting his ass kicked by the socialists from over there he realized his American economic plan could not fly on its own leaving him with a big goose egg of a policy. He knew for his plan to work it was going to take all of Europe to cooperate. It seemed to the President as though the European leaders were plotting against him. It was almost as though they knew what his game was and they weren’t buying it. He could almost see them laughing at him behind his back. His egocentric manner was not used to this kind of treatment as the 513th day of the Obama Presidency fell into a deep depression.
This is a fictitious story based on factual and fictitious events and individuals. It should not be considered factual in any way. We hope you enjoy this daily fictitious tongue-in-cheek story of the Obama Presidency.